Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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