god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
