How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
