Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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