the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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