Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
