what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
