Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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