Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
