Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
