genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
