you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
