I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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