dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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