last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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