I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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