I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
