i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
