Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
