UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
