so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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