Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
