go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have post one night stand depression
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
