Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Drake has all the answers
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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