Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this just has baby written all over it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
