the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so let's talk penis.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
