you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didn't notice because vodka
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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