it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
