Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
