We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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