He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my mouth tastes like poor choices
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
