watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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