She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
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He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
