yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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