I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
