He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
