Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
