I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
