Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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