you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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