My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
