Nicole vs. Life
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
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