I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
