can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
