Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
