Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
