I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
