If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
