im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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