when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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