I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
