one two three fourrrrnication!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
